Jemblog

Many black women unmarried
Some locals advise unmarried black women not to focus on the statistics.

By IVY FARGUHESON

Marriage was always a part of Camille Bridges’ life plan, and at 24 years old that plan became a reality.

But for many black women locally and nationally, the dream of marriage remains only that.

Forty-two percent of black women have never been married, compared to 21 percent of white women, according to national statistics.

But Bridges believes the data don’t have to be an indicator of the outcome of black relationships.

“I believe that if you have a desire to be married, it’s about timing and knowing who you are first,” she said. “Don’t worry about what you don’t have. Worry about what you do have and before you know it, your mate will come.”

Local church ministers follow Bridges’ train of thought more than those of the national statistics.

Although they believe that data collected is accurate nationally, pastors and staff at local black churches point out that they are marrying more young couples than they have in years, indicating a change may be in the works.

“The first relationships where there’s an upsurge is in the relationships with God, and the relationship with God gets them ready to love somebody,” said Brother George W. Thigpen III of Deliverance Temple Church. “Down the line, that creates marriages and better marriages.”

But within the last two generations, marriage rates for African-Americans have dropped significantly. Between 1970 and 2001, the black marriage rate dropped by 34 percent, compared to 17 percent in the general population.

Information from the U.S. Department of Health and Human services and from the U.S. Census indicate that African-American women are the least likely group to get married in the United States. And if they wed an African-American man, those couples have the highest divorce rate in the United States.

Local African-Americans believe that higher incarceration rates for black males as well as the higher number of black women in college, compared to black men, play a role in these data.

Many also believe that the increase in single mothers as heads of households affects the number of black marriages.

“When you don’t have a positive male role model in your life, then that’s all you see,” said Alan Jones of Muncie. “If you don’t see a mom and dad and a positive male figure in your life, then you might think it’s OK not to marry, or you may not take it as seriously.”

Issues of trust and competition, as well the significantly higher number of black men who date and marry interracially, compared to black women who do so, also affect the success of black relationships and marriages.

But for Bridges and others, there is no reason for black women to give up hope of getting married. She plans on attending five weddings this summer with black brides, so she believes seeing is believing.

“When you start embracing statistics … that’s when it becomes an issue. Don’t focus on it and dwell on it,” she said. “Embrace your singleness and love it … and when you embrace it and love who you are, time will come. Just be patient.”