Jemblog

1,110 calories
56 g fat
(10 g saturated, 5 g trans)
47 g sugars
141 g carbohydrates

This isn’t breakfast, this is dessert. And an atrocious one at that. There are dozens of ways to curb a sweets craving at the mall, but your sugar fix should never climb above 400 calories. The only speck of nutrition to be found in the bun comes from the nuts. Too bad they’re coated in a river of sugar. Go with the Auntie Anne’s pretzel and save 730 calories, 55 g fat and 10 bacon strips’ worth of saturated fat.

Eat This Instead!

Auntie Anne’s Cinnamon Sugar Pretzel (no butter)

380 calories
1 g fat (0 g saturated)
29 g sugars
84 g carbohydrates

Dairy Queen Raspberry Truffle Blizzard (large)

1,140 calories
44 g fat (31 g saturated, 1 g trans)
141 g sugars

The decadent offerings at DQ span the nutritional spectrum, ranging from smart indulgences to caloric catastrophes and everything in between. So choose wisely or you’ll end up wolfing down two-thirds of your daily caloric allotment without ever leaving the driver’s seat. Being smart at DQ means skipping over the malts and Blizzards entirely and opting instead for a relatively restrained sundae. Stick to a small and you can have any flavor your hungry heart desires.

Eat This Instead!

Small Strawberry Sundae

260 calories
7 g fat (4.5 g saturated, 0 g trans)
36 g sugars

Chili’s Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie

1,590 calories
76 g fat (37 g saturated)
220 g carbohydrates

Here is empirical evidence that food marketers are making our food worse and worse: In 2008, we listed this chocolate pie as the Worst Dessert in America. In 2009, it doesn’t even take the bronze! Yet this hulking slice still packs as many calories as 3 Big Macs. That’s right: Nobody would ever consider capping a meal with 3 Macs, so why would they order a slice of this stuff? When choosing dessert at Chili’s, the only safe options are the Sweet Shots, drinkable treats with built-in portion control. Avoid the chocolate one, which rings in at 420 calories; any of the others should be fine.

Eat This Instead!

Sweet Shot Red Velvet Cake

250 calories
9 g fat (4.5 g saturated)
39 g carbohydrates

Red Lobster Chocolate Wave

1,490 calories
81 g fat (25 g saturated)
172 g carbohydrates

Chocolate Tidal Wave is more like it: This fat-packed mega-cake accounts for three-quarters of your daily calories and as many carbohydrates as you’ll find in 14 slices of white bread. (Just sit and digest that statistic for a second.) The dessert menu at Red Lobster isn’t great—2 out of 5 options break the 1,000-calorie mark, and the “lightest” choice is a little over half that—but if you split the cheesecake with a friend, you could eat a delicious dessert without bursting from your pants when you’re done.

Eat This Instead!

1/2 New York-Style Cheesecake with Strawberries

520 calories
36 g fat (21 g saturated)
270 mg sodium
39 g carbohydrates

Baskin-Robbins York Peppermint Pattie Brownie Sundae

1,610 calories
80 g fat (32 g saturated, 1 g trans)
183 g sugars
222 g carbohydrates

Warning: Not a single sundae from Baskin-Robbins contains less than 500 calories. Furthermore, anything with chocolate that can be sucked through a straw should be avoided at all costs. That means the only real viable route at the popular dessert parlor is to stick with a single scoop of ice cream. (At least you’ll have 31 flavors to choose from.)

Eat This Instead!

Made with Snickers Ice Cream (4 ounces)

290 calories
15 g fat (8 g saturated, 0 g trans)
31 g sugars
36 g carbohydrates

She started when she was 56, can you believe it?

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I Must Break You