I should have listened to Oprah when she warned us, that after watching Evelyn Lozada‘s interview with Iyanla Vanzant, we’d come to like her. I liked her before, but I appreciate her even more now, because she is a woman just like me. And just like me, she has problems that not even celebrity status can solve!
On August 11, 2012, Evelyn Lozada’s neighbor called the police on Chad Ochocinco after he allegedly head butted the “Basketball Wives” star over a dispute about condoms. Lozada filed for divorce from Chad after he was arrested for the offense. He countered her claim with his own, saying she head butted him! I didn’t believe him for one minute and every bone in my body led me to believe that wasn’t the first time he assaulted her.
My assumptions proved trued. Evelyn revealed that and more during her hour-long talk with the accomplished life coach–Iyanla. Ev described the events that led up to that day that ended her marriage. According to her, Chad was never faithful and it ate away at her.
Iyanla delved right into heart of the interview within the first the few minutes of their heart-to-heart. She questioned how Ev wound up in the place she is now, to which she responded:
“Not paying attention, living life a mile a minute. Working, just making sure everything looks good and making sure everyone else it happy besides me. But I would say the main thing was ignoring the million and one signs, cause when I tell you he showed me so many signs until the day of. I feel like that’s why I’m here.”
Ev admitted that Chad would throw her phone and get in her face when she confronted him about rumors and his cheating then dismiss it when the arguments got too serious. But, that day in August went to the extreme:
“It was on the weekend, and he had started training camp, and make long story short–I go to the grocery store with his daughter. I come back and I’m taking bags out of my car, and in the back of my car there were things thrown around cause he was using the car at the time and I grabbed a Walgreens bag and I look in it cause he left something in there–a toothbrush holder–and I seen the receipt I just happened to look at it and I read it. It said he had purchased that and he had also purchased a box condoms. It was like 3 weeks, cause I remember looking at the date, it was like 3 weeks after my wedding day and I called him from the room and I said ‘Are you almost here?’ and he said ‘Yeah, what’s wrong?’ He knows right away, you know they know that voice. I said ‘I want to talk to you’. He pulls up and I get in the car. I’m like shaking, I was really enraged about me thinking he’s at training camp and I’m not thinking for one second that he’s doing anything.”
Iyanla brought up the point that Evelyn told Chad to buy condoms, if he was going to cheat. Evelyn says Chad knew cheating was unacceptable, and felt like he wasn’t “trying” in their marriage, but, says he insisted on walking down the aisle.
“I just told him, I’m not sticking by you through this, I don’t care if my wedding is the laughing-stock of the world. I said ‘I will refuse to sit here and allow you to do that to me.’ He just kept saying ‘It wasn’t his all this stories, he bought it for someone else, the b.s. He grabbed my ears and that’s when he head-butted me. I started bleeding and I was a little in shock,” she continued. “For the first second I was a little in shock that it went that far, and all I kept telling him I’ll never forget this. All I kept telling him was ‘Your daughter is in the house’ even still, I’m thinking about her cause I don’t want her to know that we’re fighting, I didn’t want her to see me like this. I had blood all over my face. He was just like I didn’t do nothing, That’s when he went int he house. I was afraid. I said to myself at that very moment this is not something I will deal with.”
Iyanla told Ev “This is not about your husband, this is about you, the choices you made, the choices you didn’t make.” Evelyn admitted that she knew Chad wasn’t going to be faithful but entered into matronly with him anyway. “What’s the truth you didn’t tell about you?” Iyanla asked. Evelyn realized she brought into her marriage with Chad, the anger with her father.